Ch 1 Gravestone
by FullMetalLover13
Summary: John is at Sherlock's gravestone and trying to come to terms with the complete loneliness that was left in his best friend's wake.
1. Chapter 1

"I had faith in you, Sherlock Holmes. You were the truest friend I have ever had….and I just need you to not be dead. Please just stop this. I need

you, Sherlock. You're the only reason I'm not still some soulless body held up by a pointless crutch. And now that you're gone….well, I'm not quite

sure what I'm going to do now. Keep solving mysteries, hopefully, though I'm sure that it will be much more difficult without you around to be a

smartass and figure it out in a few hours. I swear it's like deduction was your second nature…. Ha, it's a good thing you're not here to hear me, I

wouldn't want to make your head any bigger," said the blond man with a fading light hearted persona.

"I just wanted you to know how much I owe you, Sherlock. And how much you meant….," he paused a moment to clear his throat and stop the

tears that threatened to choke his voice, "….how much you mean to me."

A single stubborn tear rolled down the man's cheek and fell onto the uniform black gravestone; not too different in way of solitary

demeanor to its resident. He quickly wiped his face and let go of a heavy shaking breath.

"I've seen men die right before my eyes, Sherlock; horrible, brutal deaths. It was hard to watch and worse to know that I couldn't save them but

over time I was able to let it go. I was able to move on. But with you, it's different. I feel like something inside of me had been broken to bits and as

hard as I try I can't seem to conduct any way to fix them," his voice faded more and more into a whisper with each word. His thumb and pointer

finger latched onto the bridge of his nose and his eyes squeezed shut; unable to mask his pain anymore. Sherlock had always seen right through

those eyes, he could tell when they were signaling sorrow or anger and he somehow always found the words to fix the problem, even if they did

make things worse before they made things better…..

But Sherlock jumped off of a building and fell down

down

down

to his permanent destination.

He was gone, and he left John to mourn in his wake, as it was his only way of saving his best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

John gathered himself together into a heap and tried hard to keep the strict façade he had used so many times before as an army doctor. His feet, however, refused to move him forward. They were stuck there as if shackled to the stone sitting still in front of them. The confirmed bachelor could tell that this was going to be a long night, and quite a lonely one at that.

"Looks like I'll be spending the night here, Sherlock. Not like I can return to the flat, anyways."

So John sank to the ground and tried in a futile effort to stop the shaking in his arms and legs. He wrapped his arms around his legs, holding them tight to his chest, and laid down on his side. Slowly, he closed his eyes and fell into the clutches of a reoccurring nightmare.

Suddenly images flew out of the black in John's mind and toyed with his subconscious:

There he was again, staring up to the top of the building, trying to keep the man at the top of the phone.

"It was all a lie, John. Everything. I'm a fraud. A fraud. A fake. A lie. Everything I've ever spoken to you was untrue."

"NO! I refuse to believe that, Sherlock! Stop this, don't jump, get down from here, PLEASE!" but his words were drowned out and soon all he could see were flames at the foot of the building that were consuming the darkness and crawling up the walls. Sherlock was yelling and lashing about atop the roof but John couldn't make out what he was saying. And with a gust if smoke tainted wind, the consulting detective fell…..his body was engulfed in flames and burnt to ash. John could see his mouth moving as if screaming but everything was eerily silent. The only words he could make out by the movement of Sherlock's lips were 'Goodbye, John. Don't let me find you in hell, you're too innocent."

John awoke with a start and as his senses came back to him he felt something warm around his waist. Looking down, he realized an arm wrapped around him. Quickly, he turned to face whoever might be touching him and his eyes immediately widened once he realized who it was.

"Sherlock?"


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

"I'm dreaming again, aren't I. Brilliant. Well this beats watching you die over and over again," he said as his hopes began to fade and he was becoming more and more convinced that this was just a dream inside a dream.

"This isn't a dream, John. I'm here," said the curly haired man at his side.

"….what?"

"I didn't die. Trust me."

"You told me not to," he replied with tears welling in his eyes.

"And now I'm telling you that it's safe to believe in me again, John," the man said in his cool, baritone voice.

"But I saw you….you were a bloody mess and had no pulse. I'm a doctor; I know when someone is dead.

"Apparently not. You see, I took a drug that made me _appear_ dead. But as you can see, plainly, I'm still alive. Here, check my pulse," he said, holding John's hand up to his chest, "beating."

"I should slap you, you know that? You tried to get me to think you were a fraud then jumped off a building and left me…you left me on my own again, Sherlock. After being the only person I could trust you left…. Just…never do that again," and with that, the shorter man wrapped his arms around the other's neck and kissed him with all the words he thought he'd never get to say and the feelings that he thought he'd never get to show.

Initially, Sherlock was mildly stunned at the sudden contact. At once, the detective began analyzing the situation and what would be the best course of action.

'_It appears that John has feelings for me past the level of friendship. Interesting. I thought the emotions were one sided. Amazing how things like this happen. And here I was planning to just push down my thoughts towards him. Maybe that's still a good idea….. We are partners in work and this might cause complications. If I just let this pass then we can both move on and not have to worry about it. Either way this won't end well, though. If we started a relationship and it ended poorly, which would be quite likely, then work would be far more difficult to accomplish. And if I just let it pass it would most likely hurt John since he his heart is rather…well without any other way of putting it…golden… and therefore fragile. So maybe the awkward turnout in the end would be preferable. Plus if I go along with this it would definitely relieve some of the tension between us.'_

So after a moment of contemplation, his muscles relaxed and his eyes settled shut. He held John closer to him and allowed his own lips to dance with those of the man he had secretly kept dear to him for a long while. Soon, both men's minds went blank for the first time in years. It was like every fight they had ever got into disappeared and they could just be entirely and wholly happy with one another. Nothing could possibly ruin this single moment of sheer adoration for each other. It was now that these two realized how much they needed each other. John needed the thrill and danger that Sherlock brought into his life and Sherlock needed John to bring him back to human senses and calm down his neurotic tendencies. Without this give and take relationship these men would be as they were before their first encounter; inchoate, detached and waiting for a companion that neither thought they'd acquire. Things had never seemed like they'd be alright before now and no worry remained between them.

"And I thought people would talk before," John said with a smirk and a dreamy look in his eyes.

In response, Sherlock just chuckled and said, "No one has to know."

"You're not the only one who can utilize the power of deduction, you know. People aren't as idiotic as you make them out to be."

"Sure about that? No one figured out that either of us had feelings for each other beforehand."

"I suppose you're right. Well, it's not as if we should worry about anything like that right now," John replied in a slightly dreary voice as he leaned closer to Sherlock and put his head to the detective's chest.

Sherlock just smiled and rested his chin on John's head then asked, "Want to know something rather comical?"

"Sure," the doctor replied with curiosity in his voice.

"That's the first time I've ever kissed anyone."

"What?" he replied with stifled laughter.

"There was never any need for me to contact someone else's lips with my own, so I never did."

"You were even lonelier than I was," John replied with a smile in his voice.

"Oh, shut up," the detective said in a much softer tone than he would have normally used to match that phrase.

John just laughed, cheery as a ray of sunlight and held onto the man who'd been dead in his mind just moments ago. Their hearts beat as one and every clock in the world ceased to tick and ceased to tock. Time had all melted away like morning frost and the stones around them remained silent as always. The entire world was at the couple's fingertips and not a single force in the universe could put a stop to their brilliance now.


End file.
